


The Details of Unremarkable Days

by anarchycox



Series: Anarchycox's 2019 Personal Writing Challenge [12]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Affection, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Domesticity, Established Relationship, M/M, Morning Routines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 10:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18248204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Harry and Percival get ready for work on a perfectly average day of the apocalypse.





	The Details of Unremarkable Days

**Author's Note:**

> this ticks of apocalypse from my trope bingo card, and dear god i had way too much fun writing this

“Harry, what were you thinking?” Percival sighed and went and undid his tie. He shook his head fondly and set the wrinkled silk aside. “Oh, Harry.”

“You know I perfectly managed my ties before you,” Harry protested. “It is not complex and a part of my therapy to work on.” 

Percival brought Harry’s left hand to his mouth and kissed the palm. “Make a fist,” he said softly and Harry almost managed, the ring finger and pinkie not responding well, as they hadn’t since they had been crushed on a mission. “Good,” he said. He kissed the fingers and went to their wardrobe and pulled out a new tie. “Now, let me help.”

“I don’t need help,” Harry denied. Percival just gave him a look. “Fine, I need a little help. I am getting better. Never realized how much those fingers are required.” He watched Percival as the man tied a double windsor and adjusted it at Harry’s throat. “I dislike not being able to do simple tasks.”

“I know, my dear, but you improve daily. And I never mind helping you,” Percival tilted his head and kissed the knot of the tie, and then kissed Harry’s throat. “When we get home tonight, we can practice your grip.”

“I hate that stupid stress ball. Eggsy took my regular one and replaced it with one that moos.”

Percival pressed another kiss to his throat. “Well, since it so very deeply offends you the mooing, I suppose you could practice your grip exercises on my cock.”

Harry smiled at that. “That is a brilliant idea, how about we do that right now?”

“We are expected at work,” Percival reminded him. “Called in?”

“You in bed aiding with my medical well being is a higher priority is it not?” Harry tried to cajole. He kissed Percival, and the man tasted like tea and toothpaste. “Naked in the warm morning sun. Me touching you everywhere. Doesn’t that sound preferable to work?” He ran his nose along his husband’s jaw. “World can save itself for a few extra minutes, can’t it?”

Percival stepped back. “Since when if we get back into bed is it only a few extra minutes?” He smiled. “Maybe it will be a quick call in and we’ll be home before you know it.”

“You’ve jinxed us you know,” Harry warned. “We’ll be out for days now.”

Percival gave him a wicked grin, “well at least it isn’t raining.”

Harry kicked him in the shin. “You arse, now we are completely fucked.”

“You should eat some breakfast before we head out.” Percival dodged another kick and went downstairs, staying well away from the windows. They didn’t have time for a fry up, Harry had taken too long in the shower since it was their day for hot water and the man indulged frightfully. Percival had grown used to the cold, Harry never would. He hummed a little as he toasted an english muffin and buttered it. He put it on a plate and decided he had just enough time for one more cuppa. He could hear a roar in the air and it was far enough away to not be a concern.

“No marmalade?” Harry asked.

“Sorry, we need to go to market after work,” Percival replied, “and it is getting expensive. Supply and demand, darling.”

Harry pouted a little at that and ate. “I thought boats were doing better?”

“They were, but whirlpool the size of Paris opened up mid-Atlantic ocean, causing a bit of a disturbance. Statesmen are looking into it.”

“Bloody showoffs,” Harry muttered. 

Percival had to put his cuppa down. “I’m sorry are you calling people showoffs? You? Shall we talk about the statue of you that is where Wellington used to be?”

Harry flushed a little. “I never encouraged that. And it isn’t a big statue. And made out of scrap.” He focused on the last of his breakfast. “Not a showoff,” he muttered.

“Oh no no, you just stood in the middle of Trafalgar Square with a shield and sword and faced down a demon the size of a three story building, while people filmed it.”

“I was doing my job.”

“You held your shield wrong and look what happened to your hand,” Percival reminded him. 

“You do better,” Harry said.

“I do, everyday,” Percival replied just to watch his husband get worked up. Nothing made him happier than working the man into a strop. 

“I am a better Kingsman than you every day of the week, and twice on Sundays,” Harry said. He rinsed the crumbs off of his plate and set it to dry. “Don’t see a statue of you anywhere.”

“There is a lovely crayon illustration of me by Daisy for saving her cat from a tree.”

“That cat is possessed by a demon, you should have killed it,” Harry protested, and finished Percival’s cuppa and they went to the door.

“It takes care of Daisy well,” Percival replied. “Not everything that has appeared in the last few years is evil.”

“Darling, a demon by definition is evil.” Harry stepped outside and breathed in. Spring was in the air, and the sun was shining. “Shall we walk?”

“That sounds lovely,” Percival agreed and slipped his hand into Harry’s. They headed out to the road and Percival jogged Harry around the protective wards they had painted in front of all their neighbour’s houses. “What would you like for dinner tonight?” He pulled out his gun and shot into the shadows and there was a whine and gasp as the creature in the depths melted into goo. He put the gun away and waved at Mr. Jones who was looking out his window. They really should visit the old gent, he was wonderful to play bridge with.

They were out of their lane and headed for the underground. “Hmm, we actually make it home for dinner, I think lamb?”

“That would be lovely,” Percival agreed. They went underground, and sighed when the escalator down was a swirling vortex into the unknown. “Stairs it is,” Percival said and they walked down the hundred steps. “And oh look, running behind.” He shook his head in disappoint. 

“It’s nice somethings remain normal isn’t it?” Harry said and pulled a few coins out of his pocket and tossed them into the pocket of the busker. It was pretty music, the extra tentacles let the man play a few instruments at a time. “We should go dancing soon.”

“I’m an appalling dancer,” Percival reminded him.

“Yes, but I am brilliant at it, and by extension make you look good.” Harry got that gleam in his eyes. The one that Percival despised. The one that made him fall in love with Harry, and keep falling every single day. Harry held out his hand. “Please?”

Percival could never say no to him, and they danced together while waiting for their subway. Just swaying together really, nothing fancy, but he could feel eyes on them. “Showoff,” there was a wealth of affection in the world.

“Oh no, a few extra minutes to touch each other before work. The horror. The horror,” Harry whispered and kissed his temple. The subway arrived and they boarded. “Oh the new city campaign posters. They look quite clever don’t they?”

Percival looked at them as he sat down. “ _ Shadows of three, leave them be, shadows of four blast them through your door _ ?” He laughed out loud at that. “I love it.”

“I like  _ your friendly neighbour mutant and you _ ,” Harry said. “The contest went quite well. The art from the children is fantastic.”

“Mmm,” Percival agreed. The lights flickered in the car for a moment and a few civilians whimpered and Percival called out, “Standard electrical issue, nothing to fret.”

“Are you sure?” someone called back.

“Kingsman, we can tell the difference,” Harry reassured them.

“Oh lord,” Percival groaned, “You did that on purpose.”

“Shut it,” Harry whispered and soaked in all the calls of praise and thanks they got from the people in the car. “It helps motivate me.”

“Really, the promised lamb and sex aren’t enough motivation to stay alive?” Percival elbowed him. “Fine, you can have all the accolades and I’ll watch Inspector Lewis reruns tonight.”

“Our telly hasn’t worked in months,” Harry pointed out.

“I will put on a one man play of my favourite episodes.” Percival leaned into Harry and enjoyed the way the laugh that burst out of Harry shook his whole body. “I carry a great deal of dramatic range you know.”

“You carry a great many things,” Harry replied and had to give him another kiss.

They reached their stop and stepped out of the car, Harry giving a way and bow of thanks at the applause they received and Percival dragging him up and away. “Again, the Statesmen are the showoffs?” he asked. The went up into the light and headed towards the shop. 

“Yes, I am perfectly dignified,” Harry replied.

“You are perfectly something.”

“I could die today and you mock me,” Harry was very good and well practice at mock offended. “We should be shouting our love from the rooftops, proclaiming that our last thoughts will be of each other as we head into battle. That we will die for each other.”

“If you get home first, we are both running low on pants, do a load of wash please.” They rounded the corner and the shop was in sight.

“Our romance is dead,” Harry wiped a fake tear away.

“Helps, my dear if you don’t do that fake tear with the eyepatch, ruins the pretense.” Percival held open the shop door for him. “Oh my goodness, the new fabric actually arrived!” He abandoned his husband and went over to the counter. “Hello, lovelies.” He pet the smooth navy with chalk line stripe. “Oh I want you,” he purred.

“Sir, we also have something in that will appeal to you,” the tailor pulled a bolt out and showed it to Harry. “A smoking jacket?”

Harry pet the velvet. “Why yes, please,” he crooned. The men discussed options with the tailor, until Merlin came down the stairs.

“Where the hell have ye two been?” he yelled at them. “I called you in an hour ago.”

“Lovely morning, we took our time,” Harry was unrepentant. “And everything is normal out there.”

“Indeed,” Percival agreed and was poking at pocket squares. He spied a lovely red on red pattern and pulled it off the table. He went and took Harry’s out of his jacket and put the new one in. “Pop of colour, love.” He gave Harry a kiss. They all heard the roar, it was hard to ignore, it shook the whole building. “Well, time to get to work. Don’t forget to stop at the market for some greens to go with the lamb.”

“Last week the greens ate our meat, remember?” Harry said.

“Potatoes then,” Percival suggested.

“Potatoes hardly go with lamb.”

“If you go the curry route.”

“Oh that sounds perfect for tonight,” Harry nodded. “Hmmm, lamb curry. Yes please.”

“Provided you live long enough to enjoy it,” Merlin snapped. His eyes were glowing and his body was crackling with energy. “Harry ye are needed in the east end there is -”

“Hold on,” Harry waved him off. “I almost forgot. Quarterly burn is coming up. Promised my aunt we’d deal with those things that have roosted up in the attic, so they can be tossed in the pyre. If they are things that burn.”

“I’ll put in an order for traps,” Percival promised. 

“Gentlemen, we have to save the world!” Merlin roared and the lights flickered.

Harry just rolled his eyes. “You really have to calm down, Merlin. It is an everyday occurrence.” Merlin tossed a sword to Harry and he caught it with the good hand and rested it on his shoulder. He then leaned over and kissed Percival’s cheek. “Have a good day, love.”

“You too,” Percival smiled at him. “Remind your team to hydrate, Eggsy never remembers.”

“Well remind Roxy that when she flies she always arcs left.”

“Don’t forget. Potatoes and laundry.”

“Save me from your domestic bliss,” Merlin stalked between them and dragged Harry by the collar. “World. Save it.”

“Like we would do anything else,” Harry muttered but followed along, and blew Percival a last kiss through the window before starting what was another boring day at work.

He was really looking forward to that curry for dinner now.


End file.
